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Smile, Kid

Ivy. 19. California. College student. Bisexual. Taken 12/21/11. Administrative assistant. Feminist.

impalaorbust:

she wears short skirts

I am groot 

she’s cheer captain and 

I am groot

habibichic:

me before i come: Hell yeah!!!

me after i come: why are people this way

I’m on drugs wassup

monicalewinsky1996:

retr0philia:

yeah you called me cute, but like

did you mean cute as in puppy cute

or cute as in frick frack tickity tack take off your panties

I hope none of you ever get laid

severin-:

Steve Powers

iPhone user: I'm so excited to get the iPhone 6
Android user: Why do people with iPhones think they're so much better than everyone else
iPhone user: I just like this pho-
Android user: The Samsung Anus5000 had that screen *snort* like 2 years ago! *glomping noise* How are you enjoying 2012 you mindless sheeple?? *uses inhaler to suppress incoming asthma attack*

toni-tan:

morgrana:

MY MUM THINKS THE LYRICS ARE "I CHIME IN WITH A HAVEN’T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF FEEDING THE GODDAMN POOR?" I’M CRYING

Les mis: pop-punk edition

porrimscondomstash:

When you fuck something up first thing in the morning

image

pleatedjeans:

24 Reasons the Next Generation is Going to be in Great Hands

Lake Retba of Senegal

Anonymous: you tell crazy stories but has a woman ever tried to kill you ?

perfect-melodies-filthy-wubs:

prettyboyshyflizzy:

This one girl accused me of cheating for having female friends (which i wasnt fucking or flirting with but was just cool friends I dont wanna talk to a bunch of niggas all day i need a female perspective on things) she was screaming at me for 20 mins straight

i dont argue back cause im laid back im just like mhmmm mhmmm looking in my phone checking sports scores and on twitter … so at one point she says “was the pussy atleast good my nigga?” i was like “mmhmm that shit was nice and tight”  all of a sudden i heard silence i look up shes like

image

*this is the moment where i knew i fucked up*

just looks at me like that for like 20 seconds “im like bae im just playing.. im just playing…”  she runs to the kitchen… and starts going in the drawers “im like shawty u needa chill”   im like “im just playing”

she pulls something out all i see was the light beam reflect off it

i get a good look i see this in her hand

im in the couch like

she starts running towards me so i open the door step outside then shut the door from the outside and use all my body weight to hold onto the door knob, She used to run track in highschool so i think she gon catch me so im like nah im not even gon run and get stabbed in the spine

she pulling tryna open it lol im in a project type building on the 12th floor man I was standing there for 43 mins shorty aint have an ounce of quit in her. People walking by laughing hearing her screaming at me

some middle aged lady walked by she was like 50 she was like “mmmmhmmm she caught your ass didnt she”

im like “ma’am help my arms tired”

she was like ahaaa nope “call that bitch you was fucking for help”  and walked into her apt

then shorties mom came out the elevator i was like thank god.. she was like oh lord what u do.. i was like “nothingg ma’am she got a knife i swear i did nothing ” her mom was like “kita put the damn knife down im coming in if u stab me imma beat your ass” i feel the pressure get off the door and i make a run for it i see her try to come chase me but her mom blocks her Im sure i coulda beat usain bolt in a race the way i was running

she was really gon stab me, If her moms aint come i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day

i’ve never re-blogged something so quick in my life. 

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